we're blogging at a bar
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
