i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
