playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
