I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
