I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
