Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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