ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize