She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
