In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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