Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
