I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
