Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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