Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
