when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
