Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
