Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize