I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize