I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
