i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
