So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
