Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
