I feel great
I just peed on a car
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
