Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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