Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am puke
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
