I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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