I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
