I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
