I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
