Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
