I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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