Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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