how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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