Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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