Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We named our party play list daddy issues
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
