New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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