I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
