her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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