I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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