nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
