i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
