We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
