In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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