so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
