So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
