"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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