porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
