Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
