Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize