i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm sobbing to NWA
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
