I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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