I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My feet surprised me
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