I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The adults are the big ones right?
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