You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
