For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
