Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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