i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
