Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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