My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
