They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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