its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
