I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Randomize
