Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
