Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
