have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
