I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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