I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
