u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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