tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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