she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize